argh

I can't get my last post's text to format properly. Crap.

Dammit...

This is supposed to be the top entry on the blog, and it won't post as first. WTF is happening??

Figured it out

"Is my husband....[dun dun DUN]...GAY?!"

 OH NOES! Stephenson Billings, in a post on ChristWire, wrote about how insecure women can figure out if the man they married is gay. Although some women, regardless of their religious affiliation, may find this question ringing in their ears, for those who would actually frequent such a bass-ackwords, stereotype-driven nest of hate and nonsense, the possibility of finding out all too late that their husbands, who claim to share the same idiotic, fallacious religious ideals, is exorbitantly high.

http://christwire.org/2010/08/is-my-husband-gay/

That's what I started out writing on this post. Now, after looking at the source more closely (for the first time), I can sigh a breath of relief, realizing that this is probably the funniest website ever. Yes, I initially was completely taken-in by the seemingly hateful (read: just plain funny) "Is my husband gay?" article. I was further enraged by the headline "Mexican Illegals Cause American Salmonella Outbreak." But what ultimately convinced me that this is one of the most scintillating of all sites of satire was the triplethreat combination of "Warning! Black Music Infiltrates the Minds of Future Homemaking White Women," "Mexican Swine Flu Is Still A Zombie Threat, More Proof" and this:

Why Do Rabbits Rape Cats?

This is AWESOME.

Can I has a rape?

It's RAPING TIME! (thx to LittleKuribo for the awesome phrase)

Ok, moving beyond my amusement over animals fictitiously destroying each other in a physical/psychological/anal manner.........

In any case, you should know that this website is hilarious.

OH, and this one, too:

Hyperbole and a Half

Go look at it. NOW.

=)

Translation!

Random update (first in a number of months), but I just translated a Japanese bara comic. Bara is hawt. It depicts burlier men than are normally found in shounen-ai or yaoi publications in Japan. Anyway, I'm doing a collaboration with Croup (soupgoblin.blogspot.com). He's doing the editing part and I'm handling the TL part of the scanlation. Turned in the raw to him just last night. Very excited; it feels like my Japanese isn't nearly as rusty as it should be after so long of not taking classes. In any case, here's a picture of the front cover. Mmmmmm =P

 Will update when it's completely edited and uploaded. It's by one of my favorite bara authors, NAKATA Shunpei. yay =)

Anyways, ta ta for now!

Interesting Article

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1374/is_2_59/ai_54099135/

Some quotes that piqued my interest:

"Homosexual teachers know that, by and large, academic systems and structures reward the closet and punish the person kicking at its door. Many heterosexual teachers may feel, 'Why make such an issue of my sexuality? It's nobody's business.' Yet their wedding rings and casual remarks about a "husband" or "wife," in the classroom and out, suggest that sexuality in America is everybody's business, that institutionalized heterosexuality constantly makes an issue of sexuality."

It's always in the finer details that reveal the larger concepts that are embedded in particular colourings of the workings of the world.

"The closet, though, is also a role model."

True.

"Whenever a teacher feels shut up, censored, and believes that the result of not being shut up or censored is either violence or unemployment, he or she has essentially one option: silence."

Nothing new. Old concept applied in a more progressed form of societal pressures. In many workplaces, being gay/straight/closeted/out has less relevance to the work done on a project than it does in a place where one is in charge of the formation of other individuals. While the workplace in general would benefit from having more relaxed workers once they were out (though that might end up becoming a zero sum gain in that other employees undoubtedly would feel more anxious in that they are aware of out coworkers), it is often less critical in many fields where the personal details of someone's life do not affect the quality of the developed product. This is simply an extrapolation of peer pressure to a higher-ordered, less personal environment where personal lives still play an equally influential role.

"The closeted English teacher may be keeping the writers she or he is teaching --often with such passion and admiration--locked in the closet. When a writer's sexuality influences his or her works, can we leave such inquiry out of our presentations--at least at the college level--and still feel we are honestly grappling with the work? Or does a presentation that incorporates silence give students the impression that there are some questions...with which the role model is uncomfortable? By keeping gay-identified work out of the classroom, do we even give students a chance to ask questions? Aren't we enforcing a ban of silence on them as well?"

I would encourage that such questions be raised at the high school level. By the 11th/12th grade, most students are mature enough to deal with such themes as long as they are guided by a teacher who would treat the material with respect and maturity. (Notice how my language is distancing myself from LGBTQ literature, etc -- i.e. "such themes", "the material." Wow...I have some issues to work on.)

"Sometimes I wonder, though, whether we often receive safe essays because our teaching is safe; as teachers, we're not willing to be vulnerable, to speak openly. If the role model can speak only from the surface of her or his life, why should the student be expected to reach a deeper place?"

I don't believe I have anything to add to this remark.

"In Sue McConnell-Celi's 1993 book, Twenty-first Century Challenge: Lesbians and Gays in Education, Virginia Ramey Mollenkott remembers her days as a closeted teacher: 'Being in the closet took a great toll emotionally, especially when I recognized that certain of my students were lesbian or gay, yet was not able to be frank with them about my orientation.'"

This is only too true. I often fear alienating students with whom I have a plethora of life experience to share that is pertinent to their lives and yet from whom they can rarely receive it. No matter how much I try to "bring out the gay" of my thoughts cached in my gender-avoiding statements and pontifications about the morality of being oneself with respect and love, in trying to make everything so universally accepted, I fear that a lot of the personal flavour can be lost.

Go read the rest of the article. I'm getting bummed-out and pessimistic. Back to "The Office" on Hulu. Maybe some "Modern Family" reruns, too. =P

If I were trans...

I'd like to be this kind of trans.

Zerophilia explores the (kinda) trans world through magic. Ok, well, through genetics, but this kind of genetics just doesn't exist (not yet). Imagine every time you had an orgasm, your body switched male to female, except without the surgery. No top surgery, no removal of the penis/balls and replacement with a vagina, no recreation and attachment of a penis and no breast implants. Most of all, no hormone therapy. It was all naturally there in the correct proportions. Such is the world of the Zerophiliac.

Luke gets laid for the first time and is sent down a path of self-discovery, on which he must come to terms with his gender(s), his own inhibitions over accepting any kind of femininity for himself and his machismo that continues exalting the male gender above all others.

When I read the description, I wasn't immediately pulled in. "In this sexually ambiguous romantic comedy, Luke,  a naive college student, struggles with issues of masculinity while he comes to terms with a rare genetic discorder that causes the afflicted to switch gender at will"--namely through masturbation. Still, on a lazy Saturday morning, I gave it a shot. In fact, I really loved it. Aside from decent production quality (which is always a turn on/turn off for me though it shouldn't be), the film evokes some good questions. How would you deal being forced into a different gender? If you could switch back, would you? What's wrong with being the opposite gender, and why does one cling to one's gender role? Does love have a gender (cliché)? There were also some pretty hot guys (Kyle Schmid here, here and here--I know, I'm not normally into guys with long hair, but trust me on this one) in the film. =P I highly recommend Zeorphilia to anyone interested in gender identity.

If I were trans, I'd like to be this kind of trans. Yes, because I'm so attached to my male body that I would not really want to give it up, but there are certainly times when I've felt not quite male. Also, I think it'd be kinda fun/interesting to be a woman for a day...or more. I probably need to start prancing around at home in women's clothing. Or maybe not...See? Machismo (do I even have a claim to that?) getting in the way of gender exploration. In any case, in the privacy of my own mind, in theory and not in practice, the ideas in this film touched on a lot of thoughts that I've had about gender identity. Can I be a cisman with some minor trans tendencies? Or perhaps this is just called being more in touch with one's feminine side...I dunno, but I don't want to sully the name of those who actually are transgender.

Ryan Seacrest...

Ok, watching American Idol tonight, and everyone goes on about this, but I feel compelled. Ryan Seacrest is so gay. Just sayin'. I mean, the way he's ALWAYS got his hands on the guys, feeling up their muscles and all. I mean, it's totally what I would want to be doing. Here's to hoping.

Eventually I'll get to that really juicy post about gay rights movement that I want to talk about. Just, ugh, no time where I'm actually feeling like I can be intelligent. Most of the time these days I just want to let my mind go to mush. Oi.

P.s.

Jenny's such a twisted psychopath. I really love her character because of the feelings she evokes in me...that is until she REALLY goes off the deep end. Still, <3.

Fuck

Fuck conservative Catholics, their hypocriticism and the propagandistic bullshit that they're always spouting!!!

Personal Space and Community Rifts

Not yet the big post I'm planning, but something interesting that crossed my mind as I was getting to bed (ugh, why always right before sleep?)

[*L Word spoilers*]

I was watching The L Word earlier today (2nd time watching the series), and it was in either S02E11 or S02E12 where Mark, Jenny and Shane's roommate, reveals that he's been video taping everything going on in that house through hidden cameras (so sketch, talk about invasion of privacy). At one point,he tells Jenny that he's sorry and that he's changed, that Jenny and Shane have made him a better man. Jenny replies "Oh fuck off, Mark. It is not my job to make you a better man and I don’t give a shit if I’ve made you a better man. It’s not a fucking woman’s job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve!" So so sooo so so true, but what stuck in my mind a little is the following part, when Jenny tells Mark that she wants him to "write FUCK ME on your chest. And then I want you to walk out that door, and I want you to walk down the street, and anybody that wants to fuck you, say 'Sure, no problem.' And when they do, you have to say 'Thank you very much' and make sure that you have a smile on your face, and then, you stupid fucking coward, you’re going to know what it feels like to be a woman."

[/spoilers]

I can't help but say that I'm a little shocked by Jenny's main point here. I understand that objectification of women is commonplace, but is it so powerful that any woman, simply by walking down the street, feels as if she has acquiesced to rape at every encounter with another person? Or is this Jenny exaggerating simply because she's dramatic/fucked up/"so entrenched in her own darkness" (quote by Carmen)? I could not possibly know from personal experience. What boundaries are crossed in simple interactions between a woman and another? Is it the same when two women--gay, straight or otherwise--have an encounter along the road? Do they feel so violated? And what causes a woman to feel as though she has a giant sign that said "FUCK ME" on her at all times?   And, supposing Jenny's cumulative statement is the voice of the writers coming out, how hypocritical is it to show all the mad fucking that goes on in this show? Is it not objectification if lesbians are watching? I really would like to know what Jenny's point was really all about.

Another observation I've had between this show and Queer as Folk. While the L Word simply had much more interesting plot lines, (and barring the fact that I'm obviously much more interested in all the half-/fully-naked men parading around on QAF) I feel as though QAF was more inclusive to its audiences. I completely bought (though I'm rewatching to see if I still do buy) into Melanie and Lindsay's relationship including all the ups and downs, etc., and their sex scenes were not skimpy (though certainly fewer in proportion to the m4m sex scenes). Perhaps I'm missing something, though? QAF also gave a huge amount of balance to the entanglement between its female and male characters, whereas the L Word tends to have very few significant male roles that are completely intertwined with the core cast. On the other hand, the L Word did a much, much better job portraying a more varied spectrum of lgbtq-blablabla alphabet soup-people.

What I wonder, then, assuming that this observation is indeed valid, is why L Word would be less inclusive to a wider audience. Is this a slice of a secret world where men (a) dare not tread, (b) are dismissed, are (c) unwanted or (d) unneeded? I would understand (a) and (d), but (b) and (c) still cause me pain. I once commented to a group of lesbians that my favourite of all the characters on the L Word was Shane, and I was laughed at and scorned with accusations, "That's so MALE!" Yet, I truly love Shane's character not because she has so much sex (seriously...), but rather because I think she shows the most depth, humanity and thoughts with a balance of conflicting emotions, needs and desires. She seemed like someone I would actually like to know in real life. Alas, I was dismissed. These two moments link together in that I wonder how often men are lumped together by lesbians/gay women (depending on how they self-identify), and how often lesbians/gay women are lumped together by (straight or otherwise) men. For all my questions about the ousting of men in lesbian culture, it seems like there is a parallel among gay men in their treatment and unilateral categorization of lesbians. Is there an antagonism between gays? Why is this, and is this rift being healed somehow? I suppose as a (gay) man that is actually trying to better understand women not for crap reasons but simply to become a better person, I feel hurt. Still, as Jenny said, it's not a woman's job to help men evolve. And yet on the other hand (again), why can't we help each other understand and become a more cohesive community one by one as an avocation instead of as a job? How else are we going to heal the wounds that don't heal with time? Maybe I'm too much of a hopeless sentimentalist, but things can change only when we work from the interior to the exterior. Let's educate our own community, too. This is called "internal marketing," apparently.

I'm sure I've made several assumptions/wrong turns. Please tell me if I went wrong somewhere.

[In retrospect: Leave it to me to write more about why I feel on the outside rather than embraced by the lesbian community than on anything else. Also amazing that a tv series has this much of an effect on me despite my insanely numerous, positive interactions with lgbtq women.]

1st Post

Hello, visitor. Thank you for choosing to rest your laurels at this blog. I have dubbed my cyberself the hypnonerd because: 1) I'm definitely a nerd of many kinds; and 2) while I have no intention of hypnotizing others, I fancy attempting to disentangle myself from the hypnosis that I have most likely undergone throughout my life. That being said, here you will find random musings from mental ramblings. Hopefully you'll find something interesting here, and if you don't, well, I don't really give a shit. This blog serves mostly just to record my random ideas that seemingly possess some substance. Still, please comment if something piques your interest. It's always nice to have other persons' input.

Next post will probably contain some reflections on gay rights/women's rights/feminist literary theory. But then again, who knows?